Opening my heart

Eyes see only light, ears hear only sound, but a listening heart perceives meaning.

--  David Steindl-Rast

So much of seeing with my eyes and hearing with my ears happens unconsciously.  Interestingly, our hearts are one of the most significant parts of our body that also operates unconsciously, beating away without us even thinking of it.  Listening and looking with our heart is a different matter, and requires serious intentionality.

On a daily basis, if I don't pray and re-center my heart on God, the presence of the physical world - that which I can easily experience - pushes in and pushes God out of the way.  

One of the gifts of Montauk, is its constant reminders of God's presence - the ocean, the stars, the natural beauty - which help nudge me back to being recentered upon God.  Romans 4 speaks of the faith of Sarah and Abraham.  Frankly, that story feels very remote to me.  In the beauty of God's creation, however, I have accessible to me a different miracle that can help fire up my faith.  I need to regularly access that.

Peacemaking

When I was in elementary school, my father was the president of the School Board in my hometown.  That period in the late 60s was a period of upheaval for Kingsville, just as it was throughout the entire country.  The schools had sit-ins, walkouts and pickets protesting racial inequities.  The conflicts were not violent as they were elsewhere, but they certainly were heated at times.  This time was also when my grandfather died, making it quite a stressful period for my father.  I can still trace the arc of stress by following my father's signatures on my school report cards.
There was something much more important about that period that I remember: Not once did my father utter negative comments about the people opposed to his positions.  He was willing to criticize their positions with evidence supporting his own, but it was clear that those criticisms weren't personal.  Maybe that's why the conflicts never became violent.
Years later, after my father's death, one of his former political opponents told me how much deep respect she had for my father.  At the time, the uniqueness of the comment didn't completely sink in, but now I understand it much better.
Last week, my son sent me a link to a hilarious web comment parodying opponents to a single mother housing project our church seeks to build.  I had a hard time deciding which of the many funny lines was the funniest.
Here's the rub.  My son's email subject was "This is probably in poor taste."  At eighteen, he has already figured out a truth about peacemaking: You can't build up the world by tearing down others.  Even though he "couldn't stop laughing" at the effective satire, he also knew that it cut it too close to attacking personally, and couldn't send it without qualification.
I hope our church community can be without rancor in acknowledging our neighbor's fears about single mothers.  I hope that we can minister to our neighbors about the benefits of living in a heterogeneous community, the richness that can come from understanding our differences, and from helping to lift up those in need.  That would be peacemaking.
There is plenty written about a sandwich generation.  This is my sandwich - learning about peacemaking from both the memory of my father and from my teenage son.

Hearing the Silence

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. 

After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 

After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. 

And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”  (I Kings 19:11-13)

"My life feels like a whirlwind."
"I've been putting out fires all day."
"We have another earth shaking development today in the field of..."

With wind and earthquakes and fire all around us, it is no wonder that it is hard to hear God in the silence.
I believe.  And yet, often I act as if I am a faithless wanderer.
I have seen God's miracles in my own life.  Often I have sensed God's presence, available to me in amazing ways.  But, on a day to day basis, I go forward just like anyone else, acting as if the world revolves around me and as if my observations, perceptions and feelings are all that there are.
If I don't pray and re-center, the presence of the physical world - that which I can easily experience - pushes in and pushes the silence out of the way.  Elijah discovered that God was in the silence, but not in the wind or earthquake or fire.  I need to rediscover that every single day.